"There is no fear now.
Let go and just be free.
I will love you unconditionally.”

I get chills every time I listen to this song.

Dollars and Sense

I was supposed to go in to substitute aid in a special day classroom, but the student I was going to shadow is absent.

At first I was really mad. But then I realized that I have TIME. Something I don’t have a lot of these days.

Time to prepare dinner and my gift for Philippe and my date tonight.

Time to wash my car, which has been needing to happen for a month or two.

Time to pack for Santa Barbara.

Time to get ahead of my school work.

Sometimes I get so caught up in my value in DOLLARS that I forget that TIME has even more value. I’m in a financial place right now where I can’t mess around with money and I’m constantly chasing after my next check  (from one of my two jobs). But this is temporary. Chasing after time will continue to happen my entire life.

Today, I will use my time wisely and preciously.

My Rendition of Hebrews 11

You are not home here.

You think you are going somewhere. That you will one day finally be able to sit in a comfy chair, prop your legs up, and finally be able to say, “Ahhhh. I’m here.”

You’re not.

You think that you will finally find that job that was MEANT for you, that spouse that meets at least 90% of your needs, that friend that always takes your side, that computer that never breaks down suddenly, that phone that truly can do everything.

You’re not.

You are a wanderer. You seek but cannot fully find what you have been looking for. And you are not even sure what that end might be, but you know it’s not this.

The truth is, you will not reach home until you are gone from this earth and you have stepped into My front door. You may not even get to pack adequately for your trip to My house. You might not get to say goodbye to your mother or father. You might not understand My timing about when I invite you to My house. You might ask Me things like, “But can’t I first see that nation that you promised my family. Why are you taking me now? Can’t it wait?” 

But once you are in My presence, you will be home. And you will understand. And you will forget your old home, which was really just a month-to-month rental. You will realize that you were an illegal alien in your old home, but now you are a resident. It will feel familiar and overwhelming at the same time. You will be comforted by My presence and I will be happy to share everything I have with you.

You are My child, and I see that you are struggling with many things right now in your current home. I see that you are disappointed time and time again and that nothing seems to fit just right in your heart. That’s okay. That’s normal. That’s how it’s supposed to be until you come to My house.

I love watching your great acts of faith in Me. It pleases me. But know that we are both looking forward to the time when we can say that your old house was something of the past.

Because I love you. And I will invite you to my house very soon.

6 Months Later

Well hello Tumblr world.

Perhaps it seems like I forgot you.

That would be utterly correct.

I went back to look at when I stopped updating my Tumblr. It was about June of this year. At that time I started a whole new blog for my London mission, which is why I forgot this one. I’m cool with it.

I think I will try to come back to write a little something here and there. I really do want to get in the habit of recording my life. I really, really suck at it. I’m glad I’m surrounded by people who are really good at it (or else I would never remember anything that happened to me).

Some things I’ve been up to since I last tumbled:

  • June: Got ready for London, celebrated Philippe and my 1 year anniversary, went to Hawaii with my family, finished the first year of my MSW program
  • July: Was in London for a month.. where I did a lot of secret missionary things that I can’t put on this blog
  • August: Finished my time in London. Then visited a lot of places and people with Philippe (Catherine in The Netherlands, The Czech Republic, Andrea/Stefan/Andrea’s parents/Ute in Germany, Sandra/her family in Switzerland, Juliet in Lichtenstein, Belgium, and Tim in England). Flew back to the states.
  • September: Baby Luke (my second nephew) was born!! Then had my last first day of school ever. Started up my Bible study again, started up work with high schoolers again, started my internship at Kaiser Permanente.
  • October: Celebrated my 24th birthday (whattttt), continued working hard in school and at my internship, Philippe and I started to take up salsa dancing, visited Matt and his girlfriend in Northridge, visited Haley in Morgan Hills, and I visited my Grandpa’s grave site for the first time since he died a year ago.
  • November: Philippe and I went on a double-date hike with two friends, my cousin Evan and I helped pass out Thanksgiving meals on Turkey Day, and I took my finals for fall quarter.
  • December: Thus far, Philippe and I visited some really good high school friends of mine in Utah (Eliza, Chelsea, Noah, and Ashlyn) and we visited Zion national park on our way back to Bako. This was probably the first time that I experienced sub zero temperatures. REALLY COLD.

And that about wraps it up for now :) Goodnight Tumblr world of friends.

When cooking a side-dish for BBQs, I am noticing a pattern: I like vegetables.

1 June 2013 - lemon and olive oil brussel sprouts

25 May 2013 - cinnamon and nutmeg butternut squash

I made blueberry pancakes with almond extract this morning. Made a special Mickey pancake for Sie Sie

I made blueberry pancakes with almond extract this morning. Made a special Mickey pancake for Sie Sie

The WORD
I have so much love for my Bible study girls. It’s ridiculous how much God has done in our lives in just 4 months.

The WORD

I have so much love for my Bible study girls. It’s ridiculous how much God has done in our lives in just 4 months.

Favorite Lessons Learned in April 2013

  • 4/2: Nothing will get in the way of God’s plan for you. Absolutely nothing.
  • 4/3: People will most likely work with you if you just explain your circumstance. Very few things are set in stone.
  • 4/4: Start small, go big.
  • 4/7: Femininity is not a weakness.
  • 4/8: Take time to do the things that you enjoy.
  • 4/11: Dress for the way that you want the day to go.
  • 4/13: Spending a day with family and friends is a day well spent.
  • 4/14: Struggles are just as important to talk about as triumphs.
  • 4/17: Feeling LOVED and ACCEPTED are fundamental to the human experience. Without these part of what makes us human will ALWAYS be thirsty.
  • 4/17: Know who to run to for safety.
  • 4/19: Nicknames are important. They bind you to others.
  • 4/21: Be willing to learn about things that you don’t naturally like.
  • 4/22: Be FEARLESS about doing the things you KNOW you need to do.
  • 4/23: You don’t need to prove yourself, just show yourself.
  • 4/24: Take every opportunity to understand yourself better.
  • 4/25: When you need a little break from the cold monotony, get a little warm sunlight. Fixes don’t have to be that complicated.
  • 4/27: Relationships are more important than plans and they usually take more time and energy to cultivate.

Sleepy

Sometimes I get to this state where I have had so much going on for so long… that I just get sleepy and content. Like bad things can’t touch me.

I stop worrying. I stop freaking out. I stop running everywhere.

It will get done.

It will be okay.

Everything is fine.

Today is one of those days. I am tired, but not cranky or ready to sleep. I’m just.. floating. The Lord providess.

Only 3 more weeks and I will be HALFWAY done with my Master of Social Work. It’s been quite the year. So filled. So full.

While driving to LA for a weekend-long procedure, I found this little gem in my mom’s CD player. Surprise! Thank you Evan for putting a little Ke$ha in my mom’s life hahaha.

I have the best mama.

(Source: Spotify)

Adventures II

Adventures II Dee.
Doozie.
Sweet D.
Big D.
D Money.
Deanna.
(that's me)

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